Loneliness

Posted on Sun Sep 1st, 2019 @ 1:24pm by Lieutenant Aemilia "Millie" Stepanova
Edited on Mon Sep 30th, 2019 @ 10:17pm

Millie sat for a few minutes after the Captain stormed out, not saying a word. She was too stunned to say anything, too stunned to move. She'd seen Henry agitated with her before, but what he said dug a little deeper than usual. He didn't know, of course. Nobody did, shy of Patricia, but she was pretty much the only person who knew the majority of what was going on in the counselor's head.

Millie worked her way through the rest of her appointments for the day, and finished off her shift. She made the appropriate notes in crew member's files, sent requests for other crew members who were due for an annual review. She set appointments for the next couple of weeks, sent reminders for the next day's appointments.

She walked, by herself back to her quarters. Replicated one of her stew recipes for dinner, and sat down at her quarters' console by herself to eat, using the dinner time to complete the requirements for her position at the Bolshoi. A dozen messages later, a call to touch base on hiring of orchestral personnel for the next season, and approval of the following year's productions.

She cleaned up her dinner mess, took a sonic shower, dressed, and climbed into bed. Alone.

Millie stared at the ceiling in the dark. She rolled over, stretching an arm over into the vacant half of the bed. Sometimes the living space that was afforded her as ship's counselor was as much of a curse as it was a blessing. All of this space, and it was just her.

She placed her hand on the cool pillow next to her and sighed. "Computer," she called out into the dark, "are any of the holodecks available for the next few hours?"

"Holodeck 2 is currently available until 0500."

Millie stared up at the ceiling for a few moments. She shoved aside the bedsheets, and threw a robe on over her shorts and tank. Barefoot, she walked her way to the turbolift, down the corridor, and to the door of Holodeck 2. She reserved the holodeck for the rest of the night. Perk of being the counselor, da? She could reserve the holodeck for the health of the crew, so why not herself?

A few punches of the console, and she brought up the program that Banks had created for her. She stepped inside, letting the sound of the waves and the salty mist on her face wash over her.

"محبوب" Mourib stood from his seat in one of the chairs, and he strode across the beach to wrap his arms around her. "I did not expect you tonight."

Miliie gave a soft chuckle as she buried her face in the warmth of his chest. She wasn't sure how Banks made it happen, but her holodeck companion learned and adapted. She'd heard of programs like this before, but it was nice to have someone who remembered her.

"Couldn't sleep, my love?" He gently brushed the hair from her face, tracing soft kisses across her forehead. "Come. Let's get you settled in and relaxed."

Millie didn't say a word. She couldn't, or she'd lose control of the lump in her throat and let loose the sob she was holding back. Tears ran down her cheeks as she allowed herself to be folded into the comfort of a man who didn't actually exist.

Lieutenant JG Aemilia "Millie" Stepanova
Chief Counselor, USS Mercutio